Shaylee’s Spiritual Journey
All About That 3D Life
Before my spiritual awakening, my life started out like many. My parents worked their way up from the bottom of their respective companies – moving our family slowly from dirt poor to making just enough to live paycheck to paycheck. I watched my parents do the same thing everyday, come home and complain about their jobs, but feeling stuck because they didn’t have college degrees and didn’t want to sacrifice their “longer” vacation times. They lived for the weekends and their accrued vacation time. Weekends as a family were spent running errands, militantly cleaning the house & yard work (unless it was a Holiday, of course). Only to do it all again the next week.
With the stresses of their jobs, supporting my brother’s promising baseball career, financial struggles plus the convenience of processed foods…I watched the toll it took on my parents health and how it made it difficult for them to manage their emotions. Everyday we walked on eggshells wondering if this was the day my Dad would not scream and yell at us for triggering him.
As a young girl I always thought it was strange how my family spent their time and reacted to things. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t just go do something that made them happy and why people didn’t just love each other. I remember telling myself that I would find a way to live a more adventurous & loving life when I was an adult. I just couldn’t wait to be on my own and do everything the complete opposite of what I witnessed growing up.
Going Through The Motions
Yet the older I got, the societal conditioning became more intense and the pressure mounted to make my parents proud. To live a life better than they had… to do “something I loved” but that also make a lot of money too.
So I went through the typical motions of heading to college not knowing what the heck I wanted to do in this life…mindlessly picking a business/marketing track that incorporated something creative but that I could make lot of money at. Only to spend my free time working, partying & drinking, distracting myself from the deep pain of knowing that I wasn’t really going find a “traditional job” that truly lit my soul on fire.
Repeating The Cycle
When I graduated college I landed my first job at an internet marketing agency and was right on track to live the “dream life” because I had a degree.
Then the market crashed in 2008…inflation increased like crazy, my boyfriend could not find work…and found myself supporting two people on my paycheck alone.
Those years were absolute hell and somehow I found myself in the same cycle as my parents…living paycheck to paycheck, living for the weekends and feeling stuck in my job knowing most people couldn’t find work at the time. How did this happen? It was not supposed to be this way!
The market took years to “recover” but never fully did. The company I worked for couldn’t really provide appropriate pay raises to match the rising cost of living and slowly took away benefits over the years. My boyfriend eventually found work at entry level salary, but also ran into the same issues of poor benefits and lack of cost of living raises. Our dreams of adventuring the world were put on hold indefinitely which was slowly killing my soul.
So to cope we ended up repeating the cycles as our parents: spent our evenings watching “The Office” on repeat to find some humor our life situation and turned to drinking, smoking weed and overeating throughout our 20’s just to numb the pain. We both came to accept the fact that this is just how life was. We both were stuck and just stopped growing together.
Death Turns To Life
In 2015, my Dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer which really wasn’t a surprise based on how he took care of himself, but he was only 54 years old which was still so young. My 3D ego panicked as I had not yet gotten married or had kids. I saw all the potential future Father/Daughter experiences quickly slipping away from me. You know those moments that Fathers are typically depicted as showering so much love over their Daughters…
Instead of looking deep within and deciding if I was in the right relationship to support a healthy family dynamic, we rushed to get married and have kids just so I could make some of my Dad’s dreams come true before he passed. Hoping these experiences would give me the Fatherly love I always craved from him.
My Dad passed away a few months before my first son was born, he didn’t make it to that milestone. However the birth of both my sons and my Dad’s passing awakened a beast within me that could no longer be tamed.
The Great Awakening
After my Dad’s passing a few things really stuck out for me. One was at his funeral listening to his long time friends and co-workers speak so highly of him. How charming, loving and what an inspiration he was to them. However, this really confused me because this was not the same man I knew in my home. How could this be? To the outside world he was an amazing, inspirational man; yet the man I knew was a very angry, frustrated, stressed and unkind person.
The next was the experience of having children. My Mom always told me that you’ll never know how deeply you can love someone until you have children. While this was SO true…it was also the very first time I ever felt the “receiving” of such a powerful unconditional love from a male energy in return.
This was an energy I never felt before. One I knew I deserved as a human and spent many nights crying over my children rocking them to sleep, trying to comprehend how this was the first time in my life I was experiencing this.
These two experiences broke me to my core and it woke me up from a deep slumber. I knew I could no longer tolerate anyone in my life where reciprocal love and effort were not being exchanged. I also knew deep down that this was the moment where I was being called to step up and break the generational curses and low vibe cycles that were deeply rooted in my experience. There is no way I could pass these same experiences on to my children…everything in my life needed to change!
So I quit my job immediately, went deep within and my soul’s healing journey began…
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
My Dad used to tell us all the time, “The world doesn’t revolve around you.” So in my home, we learned to only serve my Dad’s wants and needs. Our family made decisions based on what would trigger him the least to keep his anger at bay. If he was challenged, we’d only be met with resistance, anger or pure dismissal. Speaking my truth or asking for what I needed never seemed worth fighting for because it would result in more pain vs. getting my needs met in any way. I chose to silence myself and do everything he asked in hopes one day he’d be proud of me for being the one that triggered him the least and someday receive the masculine/fatherly love I desperately desired.
It wasn’t until his death that I started looking around at all my relationships (my marriage, friendships, family members, co-working relationships) and realized that I had unconsciously set them all up the same way!
Little Miss Co-Dependent
As a child I learned to always put my parents emotional needs before my own, to co-dependently rely on them for life direction & finances. I learned that if I could make others feel emotionally stable and let them lead in what makes them happy first, I would find peace within my energy field and we could have a good time together. As an adult, I was naturally drawn to this same energy because in a strange way it made me feel loved and needed, like I had a purpose.
Of course, when the script flipped and I was in need of emotional support…no one in my life seemed to be emotionally available for that. It’s like they needed me to quickly stabilize myself so I could go back to being their emotional support system. Once this pattern came into my awareness, I had to figure out why this kept happening to me…So I prayed to God to help me figure this out.
This is when I happened to stumble across Richard Grannon’s work who specializes in Narcissistic Abuse & Co-Dependency Recovery.
Doing The Work
As I began diving into his content and learning about narcissistic & co-dependent relationships, everything clicked for me. I isolated myself from the world and spent months educating myself on this topic. Working on my co-dependency recovery and started dropping all narcissistic relationships in my life…yes, including my marriage.
I slowly and painfully learned how to put my own needs first and how to lovingly take care of myself. I gained skills to identify narcissistic red flags and finally learned to love myself enough to no longer tolerate anything less than what I deserved.
Which is an equally loving and supportive relationship with anyone that crosses my path. It truly changed my life, and was the first step in my healing and gaining momentum for a better life.
After my Father’s death and working on my co-dependency healing, I started having really intense dreams with him that felt so real. In these dreams I would have very intense conversations with him about how much he hurt me in this lifetime and how it wasn’t right.
Shortly after having these experiences, I was introduced to Dolores Cannon’s work in QHHT (Quantum Hypnosis Healing Technique) where she helped her clients access their subconscious mind to heal childhood trauma, access past lives and other dimensions as well as get guidance from higher dimensional beings or past loved ones. For some reason her work resonated with me so deeply and normalized the spiritual experiences I was having. When I read her work, something resonated with my soul that was pulling me to give this work a shot.
So I decided to seek out a QHHT practitioner to help me access my subconscious to see if there was anything I could access that would help further heal my childhood trauma.
(By the way, if you are looking for an amazing QHHT practitioner, I highly recommend Daylee Rose, well known on TikTok as @healyoursoulyourself. She is also on a Twin Flame Journey and would not only understand your experience, but could help you access past lives with your Twin…plus if you work with her, you probably shared a past life with her too…more on that later!)
My First QHHT Experience
The first QHHT session blew me my mind! As my subconscious opened up it was almost like my Guides were eagerly waiting for this moment. The energy was super intense and the visual experiences started flooding in. I was immediately greeted by my great grandfather, a gentle loving soul who helped assist me in feeling safe during the experience.
Then when I was ready and open, my Father’s energy came rushing in to heal and take away the generational trauma that was stuck within my physical body. The energy was so intense that I felt my torso lift off the bed and felt an immediate sense of relief.
Soon after, two beings of bright, white light greeted me to work on my legs where I carried a lot of physical pain for years. They then started to communicate with me and told me that they have always been with me, guiding my way and I could always call upon them for guidance at any time.
The mental and physical changes that occurred after this session were life changing. My legs were free of pain and felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. My spiritual gifts of clairvoyance, visualization and channeling higher dimensional beings/the Divine began opening up and getting stronger by the day. Because I was so fascinated by this experience, I was hooked and wanted to know more! So I continued the journey…
Meeting My Twin Flame
As I got more curious about this work and had successfully completed my Narcissistic Abuse/Co-Dependency work…Source/The Divine had a little surprise waiting for me…it was time to go deeper!
Now before I started all this I wasn’t super spiritual. I believed in God/Jesus, and felt most connected with Source in nature, but was not religious at all. I was very new the the whole concept of connecting to the Divine and I was just curious about what was possible. My mind was completely open and I had zero expectations about what was to come out of this journey.
Call it Divine timing, but this was of course the exact moment I met my Twin Flame…
I of course had zero clue what a Twin Flame was before all of this happened, all I knew is I met someone that reminded me of…well…Me!
The Sychronicities Tho…
There was something so familiar about him, like I had known him before. As we got to know more about each other, our lives seemed to mirror each others so closely which I thought was so bizarre. The synchronicities that were happening surprised us all the time.
What was so strange is that talking to him was easy, everything just flowed and when our energies merged, it felt like something super powerful was taking place…I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
So I began asking Source about this connection and that’s when the flood gates opened. My new channeling abilities cracked wide open and I began downloading information about our past lives together and what our purpose in this lifetime was. As the channeling came through I came to understand that we experienced many lives together around sexual trauma and we reincarnated in this lifetime not only to clear that karma, but to also help others awaken and ascend.
So what is a Twin Flame you ask? If you’re here, I assume you already know, but if not..It’s when your soul splits in two and you both reincarnate in separate bodies on Earth to learn lessons together which can span many lifetimes. In some lifetimes, they also come together to pursue a mission or purpose together. (Yes, much like the show Loki on Disney+, that sh*t is real ya’ll)
Well, as you can imagine, awakening to this truth was very intense and hard for both of us to wrap our heads around because it hit us so hard. But the immediate unconditional love and respect we had for each other was on some other level I never experienced before.
Falling Out Of Alignment
We of course helped each other as best we could through it all…but eventually the energy exchanges and our paths started falling out of alignment…which of course led to our separation and parting ways.
Just when I was coming to terms with the fact that I had been searching for this type of soul connection my entire life, I knew deep down that the timing just wasn’t right and things were no longer in alignment. It was now time to part ways.
And just like that, as quickly as it came together, it was over…
Or was it…
The Dreaded Separation Phase
I learned a lot about the separation phase and how painful it could be, but I didn’t really realize the extent of the pain I’d feel until it happened to me. To walk away from something my soul had been yearning for my entire life, felt like my soul was ripping apart. It was the most intense internal physical pain I had ever felt. It felt like something within me had died.
I knew that the separation phase was a natural part of the Twin Flame journey so we each would have the opportunity to process and heal. So I started looking at this journey a little more logically to understand how I could heal the pain I was in, that I just couldn’t seem to control. I knew there was no way I could tolerate staying in this pain for too long, I had a life to get on with!
Releasing Twin Flame Attachments
One of the things you’re supposed to work on during your separation phase is to release attachments to your Twin. Because I had just worked on releasing attachments to toxic people and co-dependency…this was the perfect time to practice and implement what I just learned prior to meeting him!
It took about a month for me to release the “outcome” attachments to my Twin. Because let’s be real, you can never truly detach from yourself.
While this may seem like a long time, it actually was pretty quick considering how many lifetimes we shared together. There was a strange internal fire burning inside that really wanted to learn how to do this just out of pure curiosity. Here’s what that healing process looked like for me:
- -I worked on sending all energy back to him that wasn’t mine.
- -I used my spiritual gifts to go back and heal past life timelines we shared.
- -I worked on asking for forgiveness for any lifetime where I was in the wrong.
- -I took full responsibility for any karma that was mine and took the time to emotionally process it.
- -I worked on forgiving him for things he did to me in past lives.
- -I worked on dropping into my feminine energy, learning how to receive and release control.
- -I worked on dissolving all Ego around how I thought things should be.
- -I practiced sending back forgiveness, love and light when I was feeling him energetically.
- -I learned how to fully trust the Divine to lead the way vs relying the physical version of my Twin.
- -I practiced receiving the 5D sexual energy and using it to manifest things for my highest good.
(That last one was my favorite part, I’ll teach you how to do this soon! ;p)
So no matter if my Twin chooses to do his own healing work or not (which I feel deeply that he is in his own way and own timing). Now that I have this awareness and consciousness about my Over-soul’s mission, I’m determined to experience the highest level of healing possible in this lifetime for myself. Only because I’m so curious and excited to see what adventures are waiting for me on the other side of this work!
Receiving Divine Support & Unlocking Spiritual Gifts
Once I started working on these things, a major energetic shift happened for me. The veil dropped and I started to have more intense interactions with the 5D version of my Twin. His energy was with me all the time supporting me and guiding me along, helping me to step into my own powers and improving my spiritual gifts.
It first started with seeing him in my dreams and always feeling his energy with me. Overtime, I was actually able to see him in my mind’s eye as if he was standing in the room with me. We practiced communicating telepathically in real time as if we were having a real human conversation. From there, my channeling and ability to work with and communicate with the Divine continued to get stronger and stronger. I started to see the Divine in so much detail that they looked real and was able to have the same interactions with them. Without a shadow of a doubt, I was fully able to understand who I was at the deepest level and step into that “knowing” powerfully.
Our 5D energy was able to work together in a way where I got to experience his healed masculine energy which created a loving and humorous container to support the next phase of my healing & growth. So while I wasn’t getting that from the 3D version of my Twin, the 5D version stepped in and offered all the love and support to help me along. However this of course took a lot of trust in the Divine and opening my heart to allow that energy into my space. In all honesty, it’s been kinda fun working with that version of him…he’s actually pretty charming and funny…even though annoyingly persistent. There is just so much love, honor and respect reciprocated in that realm, it’s been pretty incredible to experience.
So while physical separation is painful, there are actually a lot of lessons us Feminines can work on to continue our healing journey and step into our feminine power and spiritual gifts. Physical separation is actually a gift from the Divine to give you the time and space you need to drop into your feminine energy and power to prepare you for Divine love and purpose.
When you open your heart and begin working in the 5D realm with your Twin, you realize you’re never really separate from them and the love you share for each other never dies…it’s eternal and is always there to tap into at anytime.
Where I Stand On Twin Flame Union
Now do I believe I’ll end up in Twin Flame union in this lifetime? Who knows…the journey for us has clearly yet to come to a close. But I do stand powerfully in my truth that I am on a Twin Flame Journey for my own healing and growth. Because to deny this truth would be deny who I am, the Divine, our Over-Soul and the soul contract I signed.
But what I do know for sure is that in this lifetime, my Twin has helped me to prepare for a Divine, loving partnership in so many ways. He has shown me that I’m worthy of receiving a deep, unconditional love and I shouldn’t accept anything less. And to only seek those that accept, love and can hold all parts of me (the light and the dark) because I’m worth of it and truly deserve it in this lifetime.
Let’s just say I currently identify as a “Divine Feminine Free Agent” until I’m not! I’m open to finding a true Divine, loving partnership in this lifetime, no matter how that plays out for me! That Masculine will be one lucky guy, that’s for sure! As long as it’s for the highest good of all involved, let’s roll! But I’ll leave it to the Divine to sort out the details…
A channeled message from the Divine: “If you were in union with your true love right now, there would be no motivation to heal the deep seeded wounds, step into the highest version of who you are and work towards completing your soul mission and purpose that the world desperately needs you for. But don’t worry, we won’t leave you high and dry, if you do the work, a Divine partnership awaits you!”
Damn, the Divine really knows how to motivate me and keep me on track…
Soul Mission & Purpose
For me, a huge part of my karmic lessons in this lifetime and my experiences with my Twin catapulted me into understanding my true soul mission and purpose.
First know that the experiences you are having in your Twin Flame journey are real and valid, even if your Twin has not yet awakened or doesn’t agree. If you believe you are on a Twin Flame journey…then that is your truth! Going through it myself, I know you know. Own it, and stand in that truth, knowing it confidently, as this journey is going to set you up to fulfill your own mission here on this Earth.
On another level, also know we can’t control our Twin as they have free will so the only true work we can do is on our own healing while we move to stepping into the highest version of ourselves.
If you are resonating with any of this, there is likely a Divine gift you have that needs to be shared with the world. Right now you (and all Divine Feminines) are being called to rise up to heal the Earth with the deepest love, which means learning to love ourselves first. As you step into and own who you are, you will start attracting the type of loving relationships you desire and that are in alignment with your soul.
My personal mission is to not only help you find healing and peace during Twin Flame separation, but to help you own your gifts, own who you are, speak your truth all while helping you bring your spiritual dream online so you can share the beauty of who you are with the world!
Because this world desperately needs you!
Not quite sure what your soul mission is? Book an Astrology session with Brandon Tobias and he’ll get you started on the right track. He was instrumental in helping me confirm my soul mission and offering guidance!
So after all the healing and growing I’ve done so far in this lifetime, it honestly doesn’t matter if it’s a Twin Flame, a soulmate, a karmic partner…or some Joe Shmoe, us Feminines shouldn’t accept anything that isn’t in alignment with our highest good and frequency.
It’s time to stand in our Divine Feminine power and continually evaluate where our relationships stand in the “now” moment. We must learn how to discern if a relationship is still alignment with who we are and where we are going as we grow. If not…learn to be at peace with letting go when it’s time and keep moving forward…
If someone wants to experience all the love, support and power you have to offer them in this lifetime, their soul will do the work to reciprocate that effort equally…otherwise another Divine partnership will be waiting in line to shoot their shot with you!
You got this, Queen!
I love you!